Captain Whoreica

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZwFkmAc4_o#t=3m21s

Phillip Phillips walked out on the stage with a microphone, looking very disappointed. He shook his head in shame and pity as he walked down the ramp with a microphone in his hand. After entering the ring, he told all what was on his mind.

PHILLIP PHILLIPS
Hello, friends! I'm sure by now you know that... "Jim America" guy, who I recently hired as COO.

The crowd had a mixed reaction; Phillip smirked.

PHILLIP PHILLIPS
Well, turns out he was a Whore with a capital W. I recently fired him due to his whoreish actions... bitch calls himself a patriot? He's a disgrace to all countries, not just you poor Americans that have to put up with his lies and manwhoreish actions.

Phillip smirked; many audience members couldn't help but laugh at his comments.

PHILLIP PHILLIPS
Anyways, now that I've banned Captain Whoreica's ass, how 'bout we have a little celebration?

He grinned, then rolled out of the ring. He pulled out a bottle of champagne from under the apron, then re-entered the ring. He yanked off the cap, sending foam flying across the ring. Finally, the fizz died down, and he took a huge gulp straight out of the bottle, grinning as the alcohol dripped down his chin.